If you have secured shelter, food, companionship and personal safety for yourself —and you are unlikely to lose any of these in the foreseeable future —there is only one thing left to accomplish, in life. Once you are stable and secure, you are free to focus on personal growth.
How far can you go? No one knows. You have no competition except your former self. You are on a personal journey with an utterly unique trajectory. In time you can become something incredible and irreplicable. A version of yourself that is many times better than the previous versions!
Yet anyone who has ever tried to improve themselves knows that the road is fraught with challenges and setbacks. I call this a “minefield” because the challenges and setbacks do not merely constitute inconvenient delays. Unfortunately, the challenges we meet on the road to developing ourselves can be discouraging, dangerous and sometimes life-threatening.
This is because it is impossible to grow without the help and influence of others. Any skill, ability we wish to develop relies in part on the validation and feedback of others. When our interactions with others are positive we bloom like healthy plants, but when our interactions with others are largely toxic, we wilt and become despondent.
I believe that it is dangerous to give others too much power over our lives. While on our journey, we all need encouragement, advice and guidance, but we must be super careful not to allow people with other agendas to dissuade us from our personal path. No one knows what should become of each of us. No one can know because each of us is called to a unique life.
But isn’t using the metaphor of a minefield a tad hyperbolic? No. Unfortunately, some people are willing to destroy us if it gets them some measure of success or satisfaction in the short term. It’s not so much that the world is full of evil that we have to guard against. More likely, the world is filled with people who are afraid that their own needs will not be met. And people who are afraid for themselves have precious little to offer those of us who want to grow.
This is why it is dangerous to open yourself up unconditionally to the guidance of others. By offering wrong advice or by repeatedly doubting your chosen path, even well-meaning individuals can set you back for years.
And it’s not just about a career choice or pursuing a lifelong dream. The judgments we are exposed to as we grow up can affect us negatively in all areas. If we are not careful, our confidence, our skillset and our character growth can be irreparably damaged in the process.
What to do?
You have to proceed with caution. There are many people who want to help you succeed. These are the people you have to find and open up to. These are the people who will help you become all that you can be.
Everyone else should be ignored. Be polite, but ignore those who do not have your best interests at heart. Your inner voice and intuition need your undivided attention. You have places to discover and a wonderful life to experience!